If I’m being completely honest, I like to be in control. You could say I’m a woman who knows what I want and how I want it. There isn’t much that I’m truly unsure of. Often, I have a hard time taking my hands off of a moment or situation to allow what’s supposed to happen, actually happen. Letting go and releasing control over a person, situation, moment that you can’t change, or career may be one of the healthiest doses of therapy we can ever bring into our lives. The hardest part? Accepting what you need to let go of and then actually letting go.
In my opinion, when we try to control everything around us, it prevents us from letting go of what’s supposed to happen. This can apply to many different areas. There’s the obvious relationship with a significant other, friend, or even family member that you know isn’t offering anything good to your life. Yet, you hang on in hopes of being the one to change that person. Then you have that one situation in life that you want so badly to turn out how you imagine it, and yet you have no control over the result. So, instead of allowing Jesus to take the wheel (thank you Carrie Underwood), we put ourselves in the driver seat and attempt to manipulate the situation. Not good. Then there’s the job you dread going to but still stick with for all of the wrong reasons. You simply can’t let go because you aren’t sure of where that risk will take you. Scary? Yes, but when one door closes I’m confident another one opens. Lastly, there’s that memory in life that still haunts you. You know, the one you think about on a regular occurrence. That person you would treat differently, that text you wouldn’t have sent, and that decision you shouldn’t have made. It’s there, it holds you back, and it’s invading your space.
All of this isn’t to say completely cut off your relationships, quit your job, and knock on every door trying to clear your past. It’s simply to say that hanging onto something that you have no control over, can truly put a damper on your mental, emotional, and physical health. Yes, your physical health. As a health coach who works with people to reach a healthier life, I often see a major connection between imbalance in ones life, pain from the past, and choices that were made many years ago. There are painful moments that cause anger, regret, depression and setbacks. These are the moments that we temporarily recover with a quick band-aid to mask the pain and allow us to feel better, even if it’s for that quick moment in time.
Is there a formula for letting go of all that doesn’t serve us or the things that we can’t control? I wish it were that easy, but it’s not. I think it’s something we may always have to work on. With most therapeutic moments, I feel being conscious of your thoughts, laying your emotions out there and letting time bring hope and healing. It’s taking your hands off of the steering wheel and giving up control. Accepting that life is going to roll out the way it’s supposed to, the way God has planned for you, and there is beauty and grace in that alone. Moments that we all can say we look back on and see the big picture. Moments that allow us to understand why something happened the way it did. While there are some situations we won’t ever understand, at least we can accept that it’s God’s way of molding us to be the person he has created to be. I believe we can all be an example to one another, to help someone, to encourage someone or to simply offer support.
FIVE WAYS TO BEGIN LETTING GO
There’s no better place to let go of those thoughts and struggles running through your mind all day long. Take a few minutes before bed, to write out your thoughts and meditate on how you’re feeling. It doesn’t require a lot of time and it can be so helpful!
In my opinion, the best way to let go of something is to give it to GOD. I firmly believe that God has the perfect plan for us and if we can truly let go and trust him, we can be confident in knowing things are going to work out just as they should.
Share how you are feeling with a loved one, friend or even licensed therapist. Simply letting the words out of your body can help you to move forward. Often more times than not, we bottle everything up and can’t seem to sort through the mess.
This isn’t ever easy. By accepting something, I don’t mean settle. I simply mean accept that some people are who they are, some situations won’t change, and you have to be the one to make a move.
Take some time to stop and think through a situation. We forget to do this and often can’t even see the big picture. Stop for a few minutes to check in and see how you’re truly feeling about a situation. Dig deep, think through it and decide what you need to do to be the healthiest and happiest version of YOU!